Let’s start with the business that matters most: who went through. I am not surprised at all that North Dakota or Montana went through because I thought they would. Somehow, I never realized that Kansas was second in jury voting, so Kansas was a little bit of a shock. As I have listened to the song more over the past week, it is good. I just don’t think it’s as good live.
It should come as no surprise that I still love Snoop. Snoop is team denim in this episode. That is the flyest waxed denim look that I have ever seen. Normally, I’m a team flannel girl — but for this look I would make an exception. I bet people in Canada are jealous of his boogie.
Overall, this was a lackluster week. There were a few great songs, but overall everything was a bit lackluster. So many songs were almost good but were ultimately boring. Most of these songs do not have many streams, which makes me think this song contest is losing steam.
The Songs
Texas — Grant Knoche — “Mr. Independent”
Texas is a state I enjoy. The hot link is one of my favorite BBQ items, and kolaches are food from the gods. They have the absolute best gas station chain in the entire country in Buc-ee’s. San Antonio’s river walk taught me about the greatness of Saltgrass. Hill Country is beautiful. If I was retired, I would live in Marfa or Alpine and drink Garrison Brothers.
Before we talk about the song itself … holy cow, it’s a Kidz Bop kid in the wild. I never knew those kids actually existed. This song tries too hard, and it is so slow. This entry is the “we got that at home” of Switzerland with a stage that is trying to be somewhat like Belgium and Sweden had a baby. I am not a fan of the song or his performance, but he very well might pull in the cute boy voters.
Louisiana — Brittany Pfantz — “Now You Do”
Louisiana is fun but way too humid for me to want to live there. Everyone talks about New Orleans, but I think NOLA is overrated. I am a Baton Rouge kinda gal. It is home to LSU football and Mike the Tiger. It also has Parrains, which is downright delicious. I could really go for some gator right about now. It is also home to my man Harry Connick Jr.
Given it’s ties to so many genres of music, I honestly had no idea what Louisiana would send for an entry. This song is a certified cut, and it is already on my playlist. However, the live performance is a tragedy. With a background screen of Iceland and a dress fit for Latvia or Estonia, there is so much promise here. Her voice just isn’t strong enough live, and I think the marriage proposal is a curse. The last time I saw a person get proposed to on Eurovision, they did not make it through to the final. I don’t see this making it either.
Tennessee — Tyler Braden — “Seventeen”
Tennessee is one of my favorite states in the country. I grew up idolizing Pat Summitt and Lady Vols basketball. I watched a lot of City Confidential, and one of the best city introductions is of Chattanooga in “Dangerous Trespassing.” When I finally made it to Chattanooga as an adult, I loved it, and I even got to visit the International Towing and Recovering Museum. I now have an urge to fly into Knoxville and go camping in the Smoky Mountains.
This song is exactly what I would expect from Nashville. He’s polished and can sing. He sort of sounds like Eddie Vedder singing country. He has every bit of authenticity that you would expect from a singer-songwriter from there. While the song isn’t bad, I was bored. There was just something about it that was a tad lackluster for me. That being said, I was not surprised at all that the jury picked him to go through.
New Jersey — Brooke Alexx — “I Don’t Take Pictures Anymore”
One of my favorite shows of all time is The Sopranos. I’ve seen the entire series twice. Even that show couldn’t make me love New Jersey. That state has terrible drivers, and anytime I almost got hit crossing the street in NYC it was a yellow NJ license plate that I was dodging. Although I have no interest in revisiting the state anytime soon, I occasionally get the song “Hackensack” stuck in my head and think more fondly of it.
This entry is exactly what I would expect from NJ. This is another My Super Sweet 16 fantasy entry. The difference here is that the song sounds like it was written for Lorde by Taylor Swift. It’s catchy. The stage is like something out of SYTYCD mixed with an entry from Czech Republic. She has Eurovision like staging and does not have oodles of performers on stage. However, she is just so damn pitchy. This one is on the bubble to go through.
Alabama — Ni/Co — “The Difference”
Alabama is one of those states I know little about. I love places in Lower Alabama (aka the Florida Panhandle) like Panama City. The people are friendly and the vibes are laid back. It’s simply too hot there for me. I have heard numerous sports fans yelling ROLL TIDE, and my Oregon Ducks got beat by Cam Newton in the 2011 BCS Championship game. That is about where my knowledge of Alabama stops.
I love that this duo has a cute love story. I wanted it to work. I really did. At the end of the day though, this duo was outmatched like Denmark or Estonia. He was really good, and she drug him down. It made the song lose its sparkle. I don’t think it will go through.
Florida — Ale Zabala — “Flirt”
Oh, Florida. Home of Florida Man, Publix, and DUUUVAAAAAL. Living there was always duality for me because it’s so damn hot. I loved the seafood, there was good beer, and the casual impromptu house party scene is unparalleled. At the same time, there were the Republicans and racists just ruining everything. While I miss it sometimes, I can only go back to visit. She is very wrong about Miami being the best: Fort Lauderdale / Hollywood is so much better and even has the superior airport.
This is like an entry that I could see being in the upcoming Selena Gomez “15 Candles” series. I could totally see myself listening to this on a boardwalk beachfront bar. It’s sweet and catchy. All of the pink reminded me of Greece from a few years ago. The real downside is that her voice is weak. This song could totally be a banger. I have no idea how it will do.
Alaska — Jewel — “The Story”
Alaska is one of the states on my bucket list. My grandpa used to go fishing there in the summer with his buddies and would bring back tons of flash frozen fish for the coming year. My cousin just moved there, and I am totally jealous. I binge shows like Life Below Zero and Ice Road Truckers whenever I am in a hotel room to get just a taste of what life might be like all the way up north.
Jewel is someone whose music was a huge part of my growing up. She is a legend. She absolutely smashed The Masked Singer by singing like the absolute pro she is. I was so damn excited when I heard she was competing. This song is just so meh. It’s like Jewel trying to do Taylor Swift, and it doesn’t work. It doesn’t even showcase her vocals. I don’t expect this to go through.
South Carolina — Jesse LaProtti — “Not Alone”
South Carolina makes me think of one thing: the best damn grits you will ever find. I did not understand grits until I lived in the south and my husband taught me what they should taste like. Outside of the south, grits are gruel paste you could only use to hang wallpaper. Grits from South Carolina taste like butter and cream have exploded corn into a velvety goodness into your mouth. It is a food from the gods.
This song isn’t bad. I actually think it could be good if it was sang by someone else. It sounds like a song Chris Brown would have done in the 2000s, and it fits the “Peace Peace Love Love” entry model in Eurovision. I don’t quite understand the parade float stage or what it is trying to accomplish. The performance was bad, and it makes sense that it scored so low with the jury.
South Dakota — Judd Hoos — “Bad Girl”
I know very little about South Dakota other than it has giant mountain carvings like Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse Memorial. Up until recently, I had only met one person from there. I remember from my road trip across the northern US that the Black Hills are absolutely gorgeous. As a National Parks junkie, I really want to go back to visit both the Badlands and Wind Cave. These street dancing parties in the intro look pretty rad.
I do not understand this entry. The band isn’t bad, but the lead singer is woof. He reminds me of the guy in the friend group who insists that he has to be the lead singer even though he’s subpar. Honestly, Snoop sung it better than he did. There were so many lights in my eyes that I couldn’t see most of the time. This is just meh.
Delaware — Nitro Nitra — “Train”
Delaware. The home of corporations and Dogfish Head. I can crush me some Sea Quench on a hot summer day. This is one of the states I never went to when I lived in DC. The thought of going through Maryland for that long was too much. All that being said, I never knew what to expect for what they would send in ASC.
This song sounds like how a person feels as they are commuting on WMATA pre-COVID. They are slowly going insane while stuck between 15 smelly people with nowhere to go. They really want to get home in one piece. She can sing, but this song has such little range that she cannot showcase her voice. I don’t expect this one to go through.
Northern Mariana Islands — Sabyu — “Sunsets and Seaturtles”
I’m going to be totally honest when I say that I had no idea the Northern Mariana Islands existed nor that they were part of America. I have heard of Saipan, but once again my brain had no idea where that was. I only knew about their big sister island to the south, Guam. It was really cool to get to learn about sea turtles and see some of the coast there. It looks really pretty.
This song oddly sounds like something I would hear from a live band at a beachside bar in NE Florida like The Oasis or The Beachcomber. It’s really chill and could also be seen on one of those surfing movies that have a lot of ASMR wave sounds. Sabyu looked real nervous, and it showed. This song won’t go through, but I’m happy he participated and taught me more about a place I knew nothing about.
Colorado — Riker Lynch — “Feel The Love”
Right now, I live in Colorado, and the county next door has the most tornadoes in the US. Colorado is mostly known for the Rocky Mountains (you can’t miss them) and being super high in elevation. There is much more out here, including endless amounts of green chile (put it on everything), great beer, and swell people. My grandpa’s family is originally from the SW corner of the state by the Ute Mountain Reservation, which I will definitely have to visit soon.
This is hands down the most polished entry of ASC so far. The song is a summer jam that can be used for anything from tailgating to beach cruising. The has all of the moves of someone like 2015 ESC winner from Sweden, Måns Zelmerlöw. He even has the requisite 6 people on stage and danced in the crowd. I am completely shocked that the jury ranked this in the 6 slot. They must really hate Colorado. I think this will go through, but it will have to jump really far to get there.
Predictions
Three more entries will move to the finals. Let’s examine some of the numbers online right now from the official American Song Contest outlets…
Spotify Plays
Texas: 43,251
Colorado: 38,645
New Jersey: 20,929
Alaska: 19,289
Florida: 12,000
YouTube Plays (Both Video & Audio)
Texas: 51,660
Colorado: 50,224
Alaska: 33,124
Florida: 22,865
Alabama: 18,850
Across both platforms, it seems like both Texas, Colorado, and Florida or Alaska have a good shot of going through. However, going back to the jury rankings and combine the results, it seem like Florida, Texas, and Alabama or New Jersey might have the better shot to go through. It would really be a shame if Colorado doesn’t make it because of the jury. My picks are Florida, Texas, and New Jersey. Let’s see if I’m right!
