While this round was a little less awkward than the first episode, there were not many surprises. As I predicted last time, Oklahoma and Connecticut went through along with dark horse Puerto Rico. These songs are all crowd pleasers and will likely do well in the final too. It was interesting to see that the jury in ASC votes like ESC and also does not like cuts like Wyoming.
The constant in this contest is that I still want Snoop Dogg to host everything, especially our coverage of Eurovision. I just imagine him lighting up, putting on his headphones, reading lyrics, and getting down. He is genuinely into the music, and I just want to be in his world.
One thing I cannot understand is why audience members are able to vote before the end of the show. What purpose does that serve? Generally this episode was boring with lackluster entries. It was a big yawnfest. I hope the next episode brings more fire.
The Songs
Oregon — courtship. — “Million Dollar Smoothies”
This was the hardest entry for me to watch. As a native Oregonian and someone who lived in Portland for quite a long time, I was already prepared for the cringe that would likely come with this entry. There are two kinds of Oregonians: yuppie hipsters (most likely relocated Californians) who think Portlandia is real and the rest of us who know it is manufactured garbage that only popped up in the 2000s. I’m not putting a bird on it because the city is so much more than that. (In case you are wondering, it is true that you can get lost in Powell’s City of Books.)
Am I surprised by this entry at all? No. It is expected that an entry like this would come from a band who uses lowercase letters and puts a period at the end of their one word name. As an ESC song entry, it reminds me of France’s last place 2014 entry, Twin Twin’s “Moustache”. This is like if someone thought Chiddy Bang should crossbreed with the Whitest Kids U’Know. As a native Oregonian, I am embarrassed because we look like a bunch of stereotypical jackholes in front of the rest of America. Was the stage production slick? Yes. Did the song suck? Yep. Would I expect anyone votes for it? Nope. Is it still possible it might go through because it was a catchy pop song with a slick stage show on a bad night? Yep.
Montana — Jonah Prill — “Fire It Up”
Montana sent exactly what I figured they would send: a clean cut charming young cowboy country singer. This is ultimate bro country. It would easily fit in a mix like the classic Sir Mashalot: Mind-Blowing SIX Song Country Mashup. (If you have never watched it, do yourself a favor and do it.) My husband said this song sounds like something on College Game Day, and I immediately started smelling grills through the TV and picturing clips of Desmond Howard smiling.
If this was ESC, I would expect it to come from a place like a country obsessed nation like the Netherlands. In the last 10 years, the Netherlands has sent legend Waylon twice with “Calm After the Storm” and “Outlaw in ‘Em”. These country entries tend to have varied results at ESC. While his voice is shaky live, it is a radio friendly jam on the studio recorded session. Here in American Song Contest, I expect this to make it through. However, with multiple country entries the vote could be diluted.
New York — ENISA — “Green Light”
Her intro about pizza made me insanely hungry. I grew up with west coast pizza, which tends to have fresh veggie toppings and a crispy thin crust. It is my favorite pizza. Examples popular in Oregon include Round Table Pizza, Abby’s Legendary Pizza, and Papa’s Pizza. The thing I loved about NYC is that I could grab things like a slice of eggplant parm pizza and a slice of chicken parm pizza for lunch. The pizza game there is wicked, and so are the pepperoni rolls.
This is a legit ESC-level entry. Costumes, staging, song vibe, and more are exactly what I would expect from a poppy dance number at Eurovision. As I talked about in my last article, entries from places like Cyprus are comparable here. In some ways, it reminds me of this year’s entry from Albania. I would prefer it if it was much faster. It’s not my favorite entry, but I think she will go through.
Nebraska — Jocelyn — “Never Alone”
While I hate driving through Nebraska, it does have some things going for it. People in Nebraska are friendly. Omaha has a legit Mexican food scene. Lincoln is cute, has good food, and has a nice walkable downtown if you feel like bar hopping. If you’re ever in state, just make sure to look out for ruse checkpoints. From her intro, she seems like a super nice person that I would want to be friends with IRL.
There really isn’t a direct comparison to this song vibe in ESC. The closest you will get is when it’s a bit more of a poppy love song like this year’s entry from Croatia. I was rooting for her to do well. I love a good singer-songwriter vibe. I would love her to say that the game Never Alone inspired the title because that’s what it reminds me of. This song is slow, and it doesn’t really take off or crescendo the way I wish it would. The key change was absolutely brutal and only hurt her performance. I don’t expect her to go through.
Virgin Islands — Cruz Rock — “Celebrando”
I have been to most states, but I have never been to an American territory. Ever since I saw Weekend at Bernie’s II, I have wanted to go to the Virgin Islands. When I heard that American territories were going to be in ASC, I had a feeling I knew what kind of entry we would see from VI. I was not wrong, and I am not disappointed.
Let’s start out with the hard facts: Cruz Rock is not the best singer. He sort of sounds like a guy you would hear on a cruise ship. However, his stage performance was everything I expect from a Eurovision entry. The costume was something I expect from San Marino, the stage was something I expect from Sweden, and the songwriting was something I expect out of Spain. I love his positive vibe, and I would love to see him go through. I do not expect him to though.
Kentucky — Jordan Smith — “Sparrow”
When I think of Kentucky, I think of baseball bats, whiskey, and bluegrass. There is nothing better balanced and fun to swing than an ash Louisville Slugger. I drink Buffalo Trace and Beam Suntory products from brands like Jim Beam, Maker’s Mark, and Old Overholt. I was really hoping for a great bluegrass entry because I love me some good old country twang to go with said whiskey.
I was totally shocked that Kentucky sent a trying-to-win-power-ballad. This is exactly what you see from people who do very well in Eurovision. Some recent power ballad classics have come from places like Austria (winner), the Netherlands (winner), and Bulgaria (second place). I am not surprised in the least that the jury picked this song to go through. It is exactly the kind of voting from the jury you see in ESC as well.
North Dakota — Chloe Fredericks — “Can’t Make You Love Me”
I have only been through North Dakota twice, and there isn’t a lot I remember about it other than giant fields. When it came to their entry, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. It is nice to see that they sent a great pop-rock-country song. It suits the state rather well.
This was my favorite song of the night. Chloe Fredericks can sing! It’s like Wynonna and Adele had a child together. You can hear all of her different influences in her vocals, and I love it. This song was good, and I thought her performance was great. She is much better than the song though. There is no direct analog to her in ESC, but she is probably most comparable to the strong female ballads that come out of Eastern Europe. I expect her to go through, but with multiple country entries the vote might get split.
Kansas — Broderick Jones —“Tell Me”
Since my husband grew up not far from Kansas City, we watch a lot of Chiefs football. I have been to Kansas only once. I went to the Kansas side of Kansas City to visit my cousin. There was great BBQ and a cute little tram downtown. I remember it being pretty with a lot of brick. I want to go back to visit and get some more delicious BBQ.
This is one of those songs in Eurovision where the recorded version is better than the live performance. I am used to liking these songs from places like Macedonia and Malta. Most recently, there was Czech Republic. The stage was almost an exact replica of Austria from a few years ago. If this song was much faster, it would bump. His vocals were not the best live which made this downtempo song come across as rather boring. I do not expect it to go through.
Virginia — Almira Zaky — “Over You”
I used to live in NoVA, and I listened to the real sound of the DMV when I would run errands. When she described being from there it took me back. She is exactly the kind of person that you would see on the Silver Line going out to Tyson’s Corner to shop. Her entire montage was very on brand for the area.
Everything about this entry gave me My Super Sweet 16 vibes. It was like mom gave her the chance to live out her singing fantasy on TV. There was even a bonus moment where I swear I saw a cenobite. This entry was PITCHY. It was also slow and boring. With those powers combined, I do not see her going through.
Maine — King Koyote — “Get Out Alive”
I think this is the third time someone has worn this hat on stage so far. I am considering putting mine in a box and saving it for about 15 years until nobody is wearing them anymore. Maine is one of the states I have never been to. I am a huge Stephen King fan, and I want to see more of the countryside that he talks about. I also love North Atlantic seafood. Most people I have met from Maine are a little odd but pretty rad.
This is not something I would expect to see in ESC. I can’t even think of a good comparison to it other than an entry from Austria. This entry was rough. It didn’t have enough of any one genre for me to pick up a vibe from. It was like someone put genres into a blender and set it to puree. The result was something rather bland. I could see both North Dakota and Montana taking votes from him. While there is an audience for this, my gut says he doesn’t make it.
Ohio — Macy Gray — “Every Night”
When I saw Macy Gray was going to be in American Song Contest, I was so excited. I have always loved her rich raspy voice. I was expecting one of those songs where she gets on stage and all of us are like “Damn, Macy still has it.” Instead, what I saw made me upset. It was more sad than it was entertaining.
First of all, there was not enough Macy Gray. The arrangement put the focus on everyone but her. She spent most of the time wandering around the stage like she was lost, which is something I have only ever seen Joe Walsh do during an Eagles concert. The recent R&B ESC entries that quickly come to mind all involve Sweden and The Mamas (who most likely would have won in 2020 if it was not cancelled due to COVID-19). I think it might go through because of Macy’s fan base, but it sure doesn’t deserve to.
Predictions
Three more entries will move to the finals. Let’s examine some of the numbers online right now from the official American Song Contest outlets…
Spotify Plays
North Dakota: 13,194
Oregon: 13,194
New York: 8,303
Ohio: 7,210
Kansas: 5,625
YouTube Plays (Both Video & Audio)
Ohio: 186,387
Virginia: 183,827
Montana: 158,178
New York: 127,014
Nebraska: 114,729
North Dakota: 95,681
Across both platforms, there is little consistency. I think voting is going to be split all over the place and will be close no matter what. Going purely on gut instinct, I would say that North Dakota, Montana, and New York will go through. That being said, I easily think Ohio or Nebraska can unseat one of them. We will find out next Monday if I am right or not!
