It is always fun to start off with the qualifiers. Georgia and Massachusetts were completely unsurprising. I was 100% shocked that Nevada didn’t make it through, but I was also elated that New Hampshire made it. I honestly thought she deserved it, but I had no hopes that she could jump that high in the chart. Still bummed for Arizona.
The best news of the night was Wyoming making it through as the redemption artist. “New Boot Goofin’” lives rent free in my head. I want Turquoise Jeep to pick him up and put him on tour with them. I’d go see that show. Uncle Snoop is also still the best hope with the flyest tracksuit game.
As a side note, this thing is dragging on forever. Unlike Melodifestivalen, this is feeling real tedious. The longer this contest goes on, the harder it is to continue watching. I can’t believe there are still 3 episodes left. If I wasn’t a completionist, even I might have stopped watching by now. At least it’s the semi-finals next?
The Songs
Illinois — Justin Jesso — “Lifeline”
The most recent state I moved from was Illinois. I lived in Chicago, and I had to move after COVID lockdown got too insane for me. Pre-COVID, the food scene was great and decks and rooftops were the place to be. I genuinely miss Boka Group restaurants like Duck Duck Goat and Logan Square staples like The Moonlighter and Cozy Corner. As far as regional foodstuffs go, the Horseshoe Sandwich is to Springfield, Illinois as Poutine is to Quebec. Also, Malört is not as bad as people say it is. In fact, it is great for use during Eurovision. His opening montage was of so many of the cheesy tourist things to do in Chicago.
Sometimes a singer gives away their best song and sings an inferior one. If only he would have kept the song he wrote for Connecticut. This song is just meh filler music. The staging and content made me feel like I was at a god rock concert, which is something I did not expect on ASC. I do not expect this to go through.
California — Sweet Taboo — “Keys to the Kingdom”
I am one of those weird people who only loves Northern California. I love the nature of NorCal. It is home to Redwood National Forest, Lassen Volcanic National Park, Mono Lake, Mammoth Caves, and San Francisco. Most importantly, NorCal is where Black Bear Diner hails from. The rest of the state is a bit meh for me, but I am fond of the Santa Monica Pier.
It’s not a bad song, but it’s missing something to make it great. It wasn’t really enough of anything. Their look was somewhere between early 90s TLC and Zenon but with really expensive hair. Snoop really enjoyed this number, and so did the jury. I have a feeling it won’t go through even ranked so high.
Idaho — Andrew Sheppard — “Steady Machine”
As a native Oregonian, I have a tumultuous relationship with our neighbor to the east. I am not so fond of the general wackiness of the population. Lake Coeur d’Alene is absolutely beautiful and a must see. Craters of the Moon is pretty rad. And my life would be 100% incomplete without Idaho potatoes.
This guy literally looked like he couldn’t cut it anywhere else in the NW with music, so he settled on Idaho. My husband pointed out that he has a cult leader vibe, which I had to agree with. This is meh 80s song content under the guise of 90s alternative rock. It doesn’t do it for me.
New Mexico — Khalisol — “Drop”
New Mexico is next on my list of places I need to spend some more time in. I am a huge fan of Zuni art. I have always wanted to go to Taos and visit the northern part of the state. As a lifelong X-Files stan, I do believe the truth is out there and want to drive by good old Area 51 at some point. White Sands National Park is also on my list of things to do.
While he could stand to be better live, this song is a banger recorded. My husband said it sounded like a Fat Joe reject track, which I do not disagree with. We also agreed that it felt like Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards type stage show. I absolutely loved the alien dancers, and they stole the show. I can see this making it through.
Missouri — HALIE — “Better Things”
Ah. Missouri. This is a weird state for me because the people are definitely whacky. The rolling hills are pretty. According to everyone I talk to, I have never been to the pretty part of the state. Breakfast from the Big Biscuit is legit. And Missouri gave us Bass Pro, which is a great shopping establishment.
This song was rough. She was super pitchy. The bizarre ring light staging seemed like it made her hunch over a little. During Eurovision, this is the song that I would use to go to the bathroom, grab a drink, and pet the cat. I wasn’t a fan, and I don’t see this going through.
American Samoa — Tenelle — “Full Circle”
Ever since I visited the Polynesian Cultural Center, I have wanted to visit American Samoa. It seems like a place full of rad people with sweet beaches. I’m totally in for a trip like that. I really want to eat some of the pastries like paifala and pani popo.
She is absolutely gorgeous. As a person who hates wearing shoes, I loved that she kept it barefoot on stage. She can sing, and the staging was good. This song was definitely one of the better ones of the night. I think it has a shot of going through.
North Carolina — Josh Morgan — “Right in the Middle”
I love North Carolina! I wish Bojangles and Cook Out were everywhere in the US. Growing up I loved basketball, and it is hard to top North Carolina in terms of the college level talent. I have a bunch of family who lives in North Carolina. When I lived in Florida, I used to go camping up in Bryson City to escape. It is genuinely a beautiful place.
I had a really hard time taking this song seriously. They spent more time talking about Nashville than they did talking about North Carolina. He sort of looked like if Jason Mewes starred in a Nashville stage production of Joe Dirt. This song is super boring, but people seem to love it for some reason.
Vermont — Josh Panda — “Rollercoaster”
I love Vermont. It is my second favorite state in the country after Oregon. It is like Oregon’s sister in the Northeast. Everyone is super friendly. The food and drink game in Vermont is top notch. The Guild Tavern is one of the best restaurants I have ever eaten in. I love Whistlepig. Creemee is delicious. It is one of the most gorgeous states in the nation. If it wasn’t difficult to fly in and out of, I would live there in a heartbeat. Getting stuck because of bad NYC weather is just bunk.
To see that this is what Vermont sent hurt my heart. There are amazing bands like Rough Francis in Vermont. It is the site of Waking Windows, which always has great indie music. This guy had weird energy that made me really uncomfortable. It felt very much like a gospel pop concert. He was really pitchy, and the song was bad. I do not expect him to go through.
Guam — Jason J. — “Midnight”
Growing up, I had a friend whose dad was from Guam. We sat around talking about Guam and the beaches of Guam. He really made me want to visit it. When my kid gets older, I would love to take them on a tour of the pacific.
This song was good. It’s exactly what I want to listen to when I’m drinking porch beers. I didn’t understand why his homies from the video weren’t his backup band. This actually made me realize that ASC uses fake bands because the blonde playing the part of drummer was in multiple acts. I don’t understand why the jury hated it. They are lame.
Michigan — Ada LeAnn — “Natalie”
Michigan is a pretty state. I took a drive through Michiana (yes, that’s a thing) a few years ago. The Niles Scream Park is a legit fun time during Halloween. Green Brush Brewing Co. has great beer and great food. My only regret from living so near to Michigan was that I never made it up to the UP.
I completely expected more from Michigan as a state with such rich music history. This is 100% a reject Taylor Swift pop country song. I didn’t like this song at all. Her weird prom meets bridesmaid dress didn’t help it. I cannot believe the jury picked this to go through.
Maryland — Sisqó — “It’s Up”
Maryland is a state I try to avoid. Traffic is horrible from DC all the way up through Baltimore. I always had flights delayed at BWI. The best thing about Maryland is the crab cakes. They are delightful. While I have little desire to go back, I still need to see the Orioles play at Camden Yards though.
I was delighted to see Sisqó again. This was my favorite song of the night for sure. I loved the pyrotechnics. His staging was on par with what you expect at Eurovision. I didn’t understand how this wasn’t picked by the jury. I hope he gets through because I want to see this again. With the jury ranking though, it will be hard for him to make it back.
Predictions
Let’s take a look at how things are going on streaming …
Spotify Plays
North Carolina: 11,337
Guam: 10,819
California: 8,117
American Samoa: 4,701
Maryland: 4,564
YouTube Plays (Both Video & Audio)
Missouri: 48,628
Guam: 44,176
American Samoa: 40,506
New Mexico: 30,383
Maryland: 22,770
Given the plays online, I will say that American Samoa and North Carolina should go through. After that it gets a bit more tricky. They were ranked 4 and 3 respectively. Even though the jury ranked them 2, California is nowhere near as popular on streaming. While I would love Guam to go through, I just don’t see it with him being ranked 11 by the jury. It is possible that someone in the middle of the pack with the jury that was also well streamed might make a jump. In that case, it seems it would be New Mexico that might make it in. I will go with American Samoa, North Carolina, and New Mexico.
